The Red Carders

Series 6 Results

firstderivative — Tue, 07 Apr 2009 22:50:32 +0000

Whose got 2 thumbs and banged a perfect series – not this guy, but First Derivative. Results after the jump.Derry City 3- St. Pat’s 0

Bohemians 2 – Galway 0

Shamrock 1- Dundalk 0

Sligo 2-Bray 1

Cork City 1-Drogheda 0.

Series 6 Updates – 4:30 EST

theredcarders — Tue, 07 Apr 2009 20:38:49 +0000

Sligo 2 – Bray 1

Cork City 0 – Drogheda 0

Derry City 3 – St Pat’s 0

Dundalk 0 – Shamrock 0

Bohemians 2- Galway 0

Series 6 picks

firstderivative — Tue, 07 Apr 2009 19:18:29 +0000

Cork City vs. Drogheda
Pick – Cork City
Apparently fans are being let into Turner’s Cross for free. They must think it’s an exhibition with the Drogs come to town.
FD- Cork City

Dundalk vs. Shamrock Rovers
Pick – Dundalk
Rovers almost lost to Drogheda. Yikes.
FD- Shamrock

Galway United vs. Bohemians
Pick – Bohs
Galway has been a pleasant surprise, but the Gypsies will be looking to bounce back from Friday’s loss.
FD-Bohemians

St. Patrick’s Athletic vs. Derry City
Pick – Derry City
Pats are banged up but good, while Derry is hitting its stride early as the class of the league.
FD – Derry City

Sligo Rovers vs. Bray Wanderers
Pick – Bray Wanderers
Sligo is a no-go, while Bray builds off a gritty win in lousy conditions at St. Pats last Friday.
FD- Sligo

No Cash? No Problem!

firstderivative — Tue, 07 Apr 2009 05:06:15 +0000

Cork City chairman Tom Coughlin, apparently looking for an even better excuse to not pay his players, is not taking money for today’s game against Drogheda. From www.loi.ie -

“We recognise that people are facing tough times at the moment; you only have to look at the papers or turn on the radio or TV to see that people are struggling financially. As a football club which is rooted in the community, we feel an obligation to show some leadership and help to lift some of the doom and gloom and that is why we are offering the people of Cork the chance to come and watch City free of charge on Tuesday.”

That’ll teach his players to start demanding pay.

Injury Time

firstderivative — Sun, 05 Apr 2009 15:09:53 +0000

So this format’s gonna change till we figure out what we like. Today is a brief editorial on this week’s results by FDSo this week’s games really compressed the standings. Except for Sligo, who knocked themselves into the bottom and in a relegation position. Bohemians loss and Drogheda’s draw puts almost all the teams in play this week to make a move towards the front. Also, with two games this week, any club can make up 6 points. Look for multiple previews and recaps, should be a busy week for the Red Carders.

Drogheda Scores a Goal!

firstderivative — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 20:16:45 +0000

Newsworthy enough to get its own post!!

Cork City v. Bohemians 3:30 EST

firstderivative — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 18:05:13 +0000

Peter Collins presents live coverage of Bohemians v Cork City at Dalymount Park with commentary by Stephen Alkin and Damien Richardson. Watch it at www.rte.ie/live. Check back for updates throughout the afternoon after the jumpScores As Of 4:05 EST

Cork City 1 (O’Neill 52nd)- Bohemians 0

Bray Wanderer – St. Patrick’s – Match being restarted due to, I’m not making this up, a flood light failure

Derry City 1 (Stewart 21) – Galway (Conneely 52)

Drogheda 1 (yay, they scored!! Shield 47th) -Shamrock 1 (Twigg 20)

As of 4:30

Second half of St. Pat’s – Bray underway

Drogheda adds a score by Farrell in the 73rd minute to take a 2 -1 lead. Poor Shamrock.

FINAL – Cork City 1, Bohemians 0.

ed. note -The Standings are sure to be shuffled after the matches this week!

Shamrock ties it in the 85th minute with a goal by Amond!!

Action Packed week of Irish Football.
All Scores Final except St. Pat’s.

Drogheda 2 – Shamrock 2

Cork City 1 – Bohms 0

Derry City 1- Galway 1

St Pat’s 0 – Bray 0. (2nd half)

LoI Series 5 Preview 4/02/08

theredcarders — Thu, 02 Apr 2009 21:13:49 +0000

Each week FD and This Guy go over the matches. Check out FD’s analysis at Avoiding The Drop, due to FD not being able to read a calender and inform the folks there that all of the reports come out on Thursday, and him having to spend approximately 3 hours doing all the legwork that LoI usually does regarding injuries and whatnot. Anyway, after the jump a detailed preview of the week in action.

Bohemians vs. Cork City – Dalymount Park, 19:35

City finally won a match by defeating Bray Wanderers 2-1 last week at home. Congratulations, as a prize now you get to play Bohs! The timing simply couldn’t be worse for Cork side which seemed to lacking confidence and an attention span late in matches before buckling down last week. The Gypsies looked like a shark in a tank of guppies in March, with only Derry City able to land a draw against them. That was a 1-1 match, and remains the only goal Bohs has thus far conceded on the young season. A major factor in such a torrid start, ‘keeper Brian Murphy claims this year’s Bohs side is better than the one which won the double a year ago. Speaking of this week’s match against City, Murphy made this diplomatic assessment: “They’ll (Cork City) come up here and will fancy their chances, but we know…we should beat them.” Oh. Guess we didn’t need to preview this game after all.

This Guy’s Take: After nearly going out of business last year, the Cork City franchise was saved when Tom Coughlan bought the club. As you read last week (link), the Rebel Army is once again in hot water over wages owed to star midfielder Danny Murphy. This week, players will be paid by the hour, and forced to punch out when they are substituted off the pitch. In related news, the league website anticipates that due to an injury to City striker Neale Fenn, we can expect Jason Byrne and Glenn Crowe to “renew their partnership up front.” That is one super gay way to be going into your match against the champs.

This Guy’s Pick: Bohemians

FD’s Pick: Bohemians

Bray Wanderers vs. St. Patrick’s Athletic – Carlisle Grounds, 19:45

An undisclosed number of lucky fans will be in uniform this Friday and on the pitch as winners of the “I Want to Play in a Premier Division LOI Match” essay contest. Each of these teams’ rosters have been turned to swiss cheese with injury and suspension, and the results may not be pretty down the road. The Seagulls, coming off their first outright decision of the year (a loss), will be minus three regulars. Paddy Kavanagh will miss his second straight match with ankle ligament problems, while Derek Pender went off with an ankle injury last week and reportedly has “failed to respond to treatment.” All vouchers on Pender in the fifth race will be refunded at the bettor window. Daryl “The Loose Cannon” Robson will miss the match due to two yellows received last week. All that, however, is negligible compared with the ungodly scene at Inchicore, where local hotel lobbies have been turned into makeshift morgues and emergency rooms to relieve the strain on hospitals dealing with the St. Pats wounded. Both Mark Leech (2 goals on the season) and Gary Dempsey suffered leg breaks in last week’s win over Dundalk. Yes, that’s right, not injuries. Breaks. Both are out until July or August. Team physio (is this a doctor? Trainer? Magician?) Mick Spillane was quoted as saying, “In my 20 years of sports experience, I have never encountered two lower leg breaks in the same game from the same team. It is highly unusual and unfortunate.” Oh, the humanity!

This Guy’s Take: Even with the devastating injuries to Leech and Dempsey, the Saints have been rolling lately, winning three straight decisions by shutout to jump to third place on the league table. Bray, as was mentioned, had three straight draws before taking a loss a week ago. With both sides shorthanded, expect a cautious match, with the better club pulling out the decision.

This Guy’s Pick: St. Patrick’s Athletic

FD’s Pick: Draw

Derry City vs. Galway United – Brandywell Stadium, 19:45

Galway United has not been beaten this year. Granted. But the Tribesman also haven’t won since starting the season 2-0. A pair of draws has left the upstarts looking up at the top of the table where they once perched, and wondering if they have enough to hang around with powerhouses Bohs and Derry City. Well, it won’t take long to find out, as United heads to Northern Ireland this week for a matchup with the Candystripes. Team captain Jay O’Shea returns for the Tribesman after serving his “international duty” with the Irish Under 21′s in matches against Turkey and Spain. Irish international duty is much better than American international duty these days. Meanwhile, Derry City pulled off their second consecutive improbable comeback win last week, defeating Rovers 2-1 despite trailing with 25 minutes remaining.

This Guy’s Take: Derry’s string off second half success has left some to ponder whether this team is that good or that lucky. Well, if you ask This Guy (and by reading this, you more or less did), Derry City is the team that will likely provide the stiffest challenge to Bohs when all is said and done. Meanwhile, Galway’s hot start is beginning to look like just that. Unable to secure three points in a winnable game against derby rival Sligo Rovers is a telling sign that the Tribesman may be better than expected, but not quite ready to finish in the green when all is said and done.

This Guy’s Pick: Derry City

FD’s Pick: Derry City

Drogheda United vs. Shamrock Rovers – United Park, 19:45

The Drogs completed their early season journey last week by being shutout for the month of March. To their defense, the Boynesiders had a better chance of having two players breaks their legs than they did of beating Bohs. But since that never happens, it was obvious they were doomed from the start. This week, Drogheda tries its luck against a Rovers side that had the rug pulled out from under it by Derry City last week, suffering the first home lost in brand new Tallaght Stadium. The Hoops will certainly want to quickly erase the memory of that match, and earn three points this week against the league’s port-a-john. Rovers is hovering in no-man’s land in the middle of the table, but believe they have the talent to compete for a league title. Teams with such a mindset need to beat Drogheda United.

This Guy’s Take: When an entire article you are interviewed for revolves around your team’s failure to tally a single goal thus far, that’s probably not a good sign. Such was the case for Drogs manager Alan Matthews, who spoke with www.loi.ie this week. Some of the interview may have gotten lost in translation, since Matthews speaks a mix of Gaelic and bullshit. Here are a few quotes from the interview, followed by This Guy’s interpretation of what Matthews meant to say.

Matthews said: I don’t dwell too much on a performance if we haven’t achieved the right result.

Matthews meant: I watch a lot of TV on the weekends.

Matthews said: I don’t do moral victories as a manager.

Matthews meant: We don’t do victories as a professional football club.

Matthews said: The reality is we’re not scoring goals, and we haven’t got an array of strikers to pick from.

Matthews meant: The reality is haven’t scored any goals, and I don’t see who the fuck is going to get one.

Matthews said: I’m confident that the first goal, and first win will come.

Matthews meant: I really, really, really hope that the first goal, and first win will come.

Matthews said: I saw Bohemians play at United Park last season and they won the game much easier than they beat us on Friday night.

Matthe – - wait seriously? This guy (not to be confused with This Guy) is trying to spin the positive aspects of his club, and the best he can do is “They didn’t kick our asses as bad as they did last time?” In the words of the immortal Carl Spackler, at least they got that going for them, which is nice.

This Guy’s Pick: Shamrock Rovers

FD’s Pick: Shamrock

Sligo Rovers vs. Dundalk – The Showgrounds, 20:00 (Saturday)

You know on Monday Night Football when you get stuck with a mind-boggingly underwhelming matchup like Oakland Raiders vs. St. Louis Rams, where both teams are 3-5 and going nowhere fast? Welcome to this week’s Saturday night showcase, at The Showgrounds no less, between lightweights Sligo Rovers(FD note – Fuck You) and Dundalk. Neither team impressed in March, although Sligo is coming off a somewhat surprising draw with Galway United. Dundalk was supposed to be better than this, but have managed only one win against three losses in their first four results, and that one win came against Rele-gheda United.

This Guy’s Take: Thank God the Final Four is on Saturday night.

This Guy’s Pick: Nil-Nil Draw

FD’s Pick: Sligo

Picks Results

This Guy: 3-2

First Derivative: 2-3

Product Review – 4/02/09

theredcarders — Thu, 02 Apr 2009 20:08:31 +0000

For as long as we find new, cool, and interesting (by which I mean totally rediculous or gratuitous) products, FD and this Guy will be running a weekly feature where we each focus on a product for sale at one of the LoI club’s stores. We swear we’re not making these products up. This week FD tackles FAI Air Freshener, while This Guy examines the Bohemians Wine Case after the jump

See, we don't get drunk off of just Guinness

This Guy:
Because sometimes beer and whiskey just isn’t getting the job done. When you want to tell your dinner guests “I’m an elitist front-running douchebag in life as well as at Dalymount Park,” do it in style by keeping your luke warm bottle of O’Reilly’s 2005 pinot gris (exported from Oregon) secure in this nifty wine case. A polished wood finish comes complete with the Bohs insignia on the front, but there’s certainly nothing “bohemian” about this beauty. Costs just 10 Euros, which converts to $13.47, only 47 cents more than the bottle of O’Reilly’s. The official Bohs Wine Case makes an excellent conversation piece, serves as something to throw at your wife, kids, or dog, and best of all, lets the neighborhood know that each Friday, you’re the defending champion of being a drunken lowlife. Talk about winning the double!

For when your car stinks more than the Drogheda

First Derivative:
When you’re hiding the smell of a spilt pint of Jameson in the car, only the highest quality Air Freshener will do. Let the officer driving your car back to the impound lot after your third DUI know that YOU support the national team with this wonderful automotive accessory. A bargain at 3 Euros, everyone driving down O’Connell street will know where your football loyalties stand. It’s guaranteed to give your car the “straight from the pitch” smell. The Air Freshener itself isn’t the most absurd product, but do you see the short shorts attached to the jersey? If that’s the proportion of the equipment Irish Football uses, the LoI should see a large increase in attendance – primarily by gay men and lonely females. I’m assuming they added the shorts just in case the bright green jersey wasn’t a big enough sign that you’re behind the Republic as they try to qualify for World Cup ’10.

Ireland Draws Italy, Crayola Victorious

firstderivative — Thu, 02 Apr 2009 04:17:11 +0000

The Irish National Team continued its excellent play in World Cup qualifiers today with a draw of Italy, who played 88 of the 90 minutes without striker Giampaolo Pazzini, who was hit with a red card after a rather foolish challenge against Irish defender John O’Shea. Forced to play a man down, Italia pushed one across the mesh in the 11th minute when Ireland failed to defend its flanks.
While Italy held the advantage for the first half, their tiredness began to show (perhaps too much wine and pasta during intermission – I kid, I kid) and the Republic had an array of free kicks and corners in the Italian side of the pitch. Finally, in the 82nd minute, Robbie Keane pushed the ball in on an in close opportunity. This was Keane’s return to international play, and it couldn’t have been more timely for the Irish. In the 84th minute, a loose ball was floating around at the Italian 6 yard line, but no Irishmen were able to finish the job.
The draw keeps Ireland in 2nd place in their qualifying group, 2 points behind group leader Italy. Their next match takes place against Bulgaria on June 6th.